What a lovely surprise to receive The Awfully Bad Guide to Monster Travel in the post. I’ve got a few beastly friends itching to get away…
Produced by the magical Ministry of Stories on Hoxton Street, together with 75 young writers from Hackney and Tower Hamlets, this four-part series shares the best food, fun, sights and smells across Asia, Africa, the Americas and Australasia.
A few highlights: the glowing review of the New Mansion Hotel in Delhi with its vomit pool; the Ultimate Guide to Monsternetics; why November is the best time to visit the Beastly River in Argentina (if you like Monster Juice); a special report on the Djinn party; the most enticing preview of Chinese New Year you will ever read (not); sample the delectable Maero Monster Menu over in New Zealand (Long Baked Chevron Skink with Human Dad and an Ear anyone?); and don’t miss the Zombie Dance where monsters (might) perform a chest pump routine accompanied by fart music ... and a few violins.
These little books will also introduce you to a few local celebrities. There’s the bank-robbing, elephant-eating Grootslang of the Orange River who lives off catci (quite literally). Or Moan Man of the Americas who goes all in for Halloween. Find out how Russia’s Babayaga got her crooked nose and a taste for humans. And head Down Under to meet the tri-lingual party animal Bunyip – if you can see him, that is.
There are heaps of tips on getting around (eg take the magic carpet for an express route to Malaysia), getting by (be scary in supermarkets so you don’t have to pay 😉) and keeping safe (always carry slime goo).
You can get involved too: write a postcard from your travels, help organise the Lagos Monster Festival and curate the exhibition of Bigfoot’s favourite footwear.
It’s been hugely rewarding to mentor at Ministry over the past eight years. It still amazes me how much we accomplish in sessions. From podcasts and speeches to Monster Monologues and Monty Python-inspired comedy sketches, the quality of the final products is always top-notch.
And these guides are no different. They are so well crafted, they feel precious and will go wherever you go. Props to designer Ed Cornish, together with illustrators Momoko Abe, Chris Wareham, Chris Wormell and Dimitra Rizou.
Ps For monsters only. The clue’s in the name.
Buy here and help support the Ministry of Stories, a creative writing charity for young humans.